my place is in heaven...

its more blessed to give than to receive

2009-09-28T23:07:00.002+08:00

i've been doing some thinking recently... about life, the future, my friendships, kinships, God.

God has been extremely good to me. blessing me with so much... though its my first time applying to an overseas uni with many paperwork to do. i don't feel lost. in fact, it felt tat God is right here with me every step of the way. From granting me this scholarship, to getting enough money on time to pay for the initial payment for the tuition fees myself first, to having friends now gg there with me, and so much more to come. i learn to place my trust in him.

recently some r/s were put to the test. honestly am a little lost..the heart and mind is not in peace. the heart desires not what the mind wants. yesterday night while lying on the bed, God seem to be telling me that, the way i felt treated by X seems to be the way i'm treating my family. If i can give so much to the pple outside, why can't i focus this energy on my family as well? And on my pillow, i decided, i will try.

22 this year. i constantly pause and asked myself, what do i want to do with this life? it felt meaningless to just go work everyday. if only the world could stop spinning so that i can pause and think, but sadly, it doesn't. when i wake up the next day, no matter how i'm feeling, i would still hv to go to work. where i am suppose to be. but life is more than that.

the counselor who gave the training i went said today said,' A man in his 30s if have not been able to form meaningful r/s, would find that his life is very empty'. it struck me that i do not wan to wait till i'm 30 to realize the root of my emptiness, instead, i dun wan that day to come. prevention is better than cure isn't it?

Jesus says "In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.' " Acts 20:35
I want to give back to the society what it has bless me with and more. Why are we always waiting to go overseas to help. Why can't we first start helping and giving where God has first placed us to be.

i remember reading this, it asks,' why bother helping this one person? you can help one but can you help the rest?"
and the reply was something i never forget. " i can't save the world, but if i can make one small difference to this one life. why not?" we ain't superheros. we can't save the world. but if we all just save one. imagine the impact it would create. that one child may be no one to you. but what if.. he was?

it's ok...let it go

2009-09-04T23:38:00.003+08:00

'it's ok...let it go'

was what i heard God said to my vexes today
it wasn't said in a brush-me-off tone but more of in the way a mom would speak to her kid when he fell down and scratch his knee. looking into his eyes, knowing his pain in her heart while gently sweeping off the dirty particles off his knee with one hand, ' its ok...'

today as i contemplated sms-ing someone r/g my frustrations...
i tot, whats the point. no one would really understand anyway...
so instead of sms-ing, i begin throwing everything off unto my heavenly father.
bottled up feelings, anger, irritations, vexes...
and i know, he can fully comprehend every emotion said and unsaid.
thus when he told me, ' its ok...let it go'
i knew he said it bcos he loved me so

long time since last update

2009-08-30T20:02:00.002+08:00

what a long time since i last updated. life has been busy!!!!

for a brief update of what i've been doing
- went on a cruise trip to redang recently with 3 wonderful pals. that place is simply beautiful. God is amazing. i love that place. the first time i canoe. v fun. i like gg to the clifts. seeing the fishes swim ard me as i wade into the sea. love the extremely relaxing 3D2N trip where we ate, relax, suntan, hv fun.
- sign up for my australian university. waiting for their reply nxt month.
- register for my accomodation over at australia
- checking out bank acct and how to transfer money
- thinking abt life over at australia and future plans, wondering how God is gg to lead me.
- sign up at canosivile children's home and still waiting for their reply
- planning farewell dinners, making good-bye cards

and last but not the least, getting ready for my trip to colmar tropicale in 2 days time!

old school photography trip

2009-08-06T23:28:00.002+08:00

went on a photgraphy trip today.
the bear out of hibernation after 3 days. finally.
but it took only a few hours to wear me out.
guess the battle is still raging inside.

everyone's sick

2009-08-04T18:25:00.003+08:00

yesterday noon, i drag myself outta bed and found my entire body aching to every movement. the comtemplation to take MC was so strong with my nose dripping away, i made a pact with God, if i had fever, i'll nt go work, if not, i'll drag myself there. took my temp and verdict was: 37.4. bleah.
reluctantly, i put on my uniform and shoes and pull myself to the bus- stop. even sitting was a pain with the constant aches in my entire body. walking up the 'mountain' of SGH just made it worst.
finally, i made it to the ward and took my temp once more. 37.9!!! woohoo! and i threw in the white flag. can't work. went to staff clinic to see the sign at the door '1-2 break time' and i was like! WTH! urgh!!
so there i sat, with a raising temp that was causing me a mild headache, waiting for the drs to be back. frm their break. while i wither here slowly. all the time asking myself how could they hv break time thats not staggard like ours? its a hospital for goodness sake...break times.... irritating.
thank goodness,a book of edward cullen kept me company through for an hr.
exactly at 3, i started to grow more impatient. no longer could i focus on the book, the body aches were causing quite a distraction and i started pacing ard. with every of the million and one times the clinic nurses walked in and out raised the hope that my name or number be called, but always, they were fruitless hopes. till 345 did i finally managed to see the dr...after like almost 2hrs! rolls eye.
verdict: mc 3 days. viral infection. rest. if it gets worst, come back to me.

and there i am... sleeping at home for 3 days. zzzzzzzz

so many events

2009-07-29T01:23:00.003+08:00

to wen: sorry i din crop your pics and all cos something went wrong with the software. irritating. but anyway, CONGRATS once again! you're now a usefull and contributing member of the society. haahahahahaha.

today was a celebration of an irony of events.
to nicole: Happy Birthday!
to sis dorothy: FAREWELL.....
i'll definitly miss dorothy...what a joy she has been. sigh...
made a scrapbook card and gave it to her. i really love that card.
nicole on the other hand had light blue cupcakes. they look so pretty sis tan asked: can eat anot huh? hahaha.
its been a long time since 19 nurses gathered at one go.
i love getting people together.
i love the laughters and smiles.
i love good quality time.
i love us being together like one huge family.

ROMP '09

2009-07-19T22:21:00.002+08:00

ROMP '09
first time i'm asked to be the official photographer for a huge event. thank God. i love it.
in the sun whole day. sweating. walking. tired. but still, i love it.
will most prob talk more abt the same some other time cos i'm so beat to do it now. yawns...

p/s: tell me what you guys think abt the pics so that i can imprve k? cheeros!

i'm back!

2009-06-25T01:02:00.000+08:00

above are the pics taken during my stint at Games Village Medical Centre at swissotel which i totally enjoyed myself, even though i was using so much of my energy trying to keep my heavy eyelids open. but i love the experience.

just came back from philippines. went there with my family on a 3d2n travel to manila. you must be thinking we are mad to go there admist the H1N1 flu, i think we were. haha. but you know what, that place is pretty cool. we ate like no tommorrow cos everything was so cheap. resturants were like foodcourt food prices. who can resist? so now, i'm on a diet. don't ask me out to eat. i've half gourge myself to death.

my AL wk

2009-06-21T23:32:00.002+08:00

my leave schedule is full from back to back
mon-wed was spend in church camp in KL
thurs-sun where i was a medic at swissotel city hall for AYG. there we caught our first case of H1N1 philippino sportsman. the days were usually spend using my energy to keep my eyes open
sun-wed to be spend in philipine. and oh yes, i'm hving my mask on. don't worry.
cross my fingers and pray to God.

tiring....packed!

my off day!

2009-05-27T00:22:00.003+08:00

my off was took to Sinema with Aina today!
how i love that place.
up at Mt Sophia, i felt as though i had travelled back 20 years...
the simpliciity and retro feeling
i simply couldn't rub it off my back
how often does one get to be only one to catch a movie in the theatre?
where it feels as if for 2 hrs
the theatre was ours
with only my friend and my laughter to resournce the place
with legs outstretched across all seats
this place is neat.
love it.

if the body doesn't allow
individuals to make diff choices of their own
but to go with the mainstream
what difference is that to a cult?

the ultimate patience test

2009-05-11T22:47:00.002+08:00

God just sent a test package to me recently.
Name of package: the ultimate patience test
a new batch of nurses just arrived in my ward. 'fortunately', i'm being assigned a preceptee.
i call her my 'pre-mature' baby.
bio data:
- fresh made from china
- age? old enough to be my aunty i think
this package has been testing my limited bank account of patience till its stretching its very last now.
everytime i open my mouth to speak, i literally take in a deep breath before proceeding. i try not to lose my temper, but many a time, i fail.
i flare, i feel bad.
my premature baby leaves work on a AM shift(0700-1535) at 2000hrs and if PM shift (1300-2130) at 0100hrs!
are you shock? so am i.
and no. i din bully her.

SWINE flu is exciting!

2009-04-30T00:46:00.004+08:00

unless you've been living in some cave, by now, you should hv heard of this latest star-SWINE FLU! (gender unspecified)
and what a commotion its been creating in my workplace! you'll never see such great welcome even when the president arrives.
what we have install for Mr/Ms Swine so far is this
- 24hr survellience of everyone's temperature who are entering into clinical areas. This is to make sure, you are not too HOT for our dear Swine, if not off you go! HOME!
- masked up! the whole world is maskedd up! and for us, the healthcare workers, its not your normal thin mask, its the N95 masks. a mask which literally left me gasping for air when i transfered a patient to and fro. i think before dear Swine visits me, i die of lack of oxygenation.
Clearly, this guy doesn't smell good
- new gowns just to welcome you dear Swine
some areas of the hospital are doning on GOWNS just to welcome him/her. Can you imagine the sweat they are enduring?!? He/She has a huge fan base.
-limitations to number of visitors
to add to my workload, i'm now a part time security officer. looking out for patients who hv more than 2 visitors visiting at any one time. and not forgetting, they have to come from the 4 norminatnees they've chosen themselves.
-looking out for the colour codes which signifies different things
MOE has set up a traffice light for dear Swine, apparently, he's been speeding. FAST!

dear Swine,

thank you for taking the monotony out of working. i've grown more excited as i awake each day to a day of surprises. After i spend time with God in the morning, i simply hv the urge to on the computer to check your latest news. Whao, you make news faster than any star i've encountered. i wonder if Ms Sar did as well? i heard you are stronger than her. well, thats not surprising since you are a 3 in 1.
Well, you cause me to love my job more and i thank you for that. This is what nursing is about! And i'm loving it.

If i were a pig activist, i'd stood up for you. its just not fair that you are getting all the limelight for this! its a 3 in 1! Flu BABI la. Qing Liu Gan la.
I can see how unfair this is all for you. you must be so stress now huh.
where are your partners in crime? silence? hmm.

Last but not the least, everyone is prepared for your arrival. but of cos, if you are tired and hv run out of energy, you can just return to where you came from, Mexico, i'm sure the pple there miss you so.

love,
xin

breaking bread!

2009-04-26T00:32:00.002+08:00

the sisters went 'breaking bread' today!
on a floating restaurant to celebrate the birthday on 2 precious sisters. junjie and bethesda!
i say, it was an absolutley fantastic get-a-way frm the crowded city.
never would i hv imagine to find such a place.
eating on a floating boat with live jazz music playing in the background
the ambience was- really gd
(i suddenly felt my com swaying as i recalled the few hours back) haha
and did i mention?
the dishes had v v interesting names like
-soloman's stew. fit only for the king. thats me!
-st peter's fish. thats junjie's
-the chop that never was. junie's
-joshua and caleb something something-mei qing.
-five loaves and 2 fishes- elaine's

enjoy the pics.

to lorong kampong buangkok

2009-04-21T23:15:00.002+08:00

i went on a phototaking trip today.
to the only kampong left in singapore at buangkok.
the sun wasn't scorching so that was God blessed.
most importantly, God protected me...from a DOG ATTACK!
so scary...almost bitten by a dog!
It saw us from a distance and began his trottle over, baring his teeth growling and barking.
Not a single soul was nearby to save us.
My heart pounded so hard, i kept praying.
i could literally imagine a piece of my flesh in his mouth...

a sister kindly reminded me once again, its him.

can! discover part 2

2009-04-19T23:49:00.002+08:00

can discover part 2 is up!

can discover

2009-04-18T23:42:00.001+08:00

pics to Can! discover part 1.

a super hot day but i really had fun taking pics.
part 2 will be out after i get the pics frm eddy cos part 2 will be frm his camera.

enjoy!

do you feel the way i do?

2009-04-13T02:21:00.001+08:00

i dream, i hope, i pray and i wonder...

easter rally

2009-04-10T11:35:00.002+08:00

last night's rehersal ended at almost 2am.
boy, my directors' a slave driver! hahahahaha
but its a gd play.
mainly i think the difference is knowing that part of the play is not just a story but real.
its seeing reality being played out in front of your eyes and the thoughts that races through my mind...
as though taking a step back in history travelling back thousands of years ago
feeling my father's pain, ache, angish, love, rejection...
i pray it touches the heart of many as it did to me

amazing!

2009-03-27T13:34:00.002+08:00

out-of-this-world htings have been happening.
when God decides to open doors...
he opens.
i'm learning to walk in amazing ways

9One night the Lord spoke to Paul in a vision: "Do not be afraid; keep on speaking, do not be silent. 10For I am with you, and no one is going to attack and harm you, because I have many people in this city." 11So Paul stayed for a year and a half, teaching them the word of God.

i've decided

2009-03-20T00:36:00.002+08:00

in case you think i don't know what's the politically correct thing to do
i do
but i can't do it
thats why i chose to turn the other way
your perspective may not be the same as me
i'm just choosing to look at it from an angle different from you
does it mean its wrong?
does it mean i don't deserve your support?
i've reached an end
and a decision was made to survive
i'm believing something good will turn out
and if you call yourself my sister
support me
let me know
that if ever i need help
you are there

crossroads

2009-03-12T21:49:00.001+08:00

standing at the cross junction
there are so many ways to walk
but which path should i take?

to australia?
to SICU?
to OM?
WHERE oh where?

i was right!

2009-03-04T14:56:00.001+08:00

i was right!
i was right in my hypothesis. i was right in my guess.
what will anyone do about it?
God, send someone into my path. help me help others.

show me where the cries for help can't be heard

2009-02-25T11:33:00.002+08:00

Dear Father Lord,
I've been counting down the days till my bond ends
for this is not where i belong
i know with such certainty
that i wasn't made for this
yet its a road i've to go through
I look forward to life after SGH
and am asking Lord
show me where the cries for help cannot be heard
where the poor awaits in vain
and the sick lies in despair
where huge funds of money cannot reach this places
not with a simple click on the computer
show me Lord
tell me Lord
and give me the strength and courage
to be the voices of the unheard

amen

pauline's wedding

2009-02-23T23:59:00.001+08:00

let the photos do the talking.

night cycling

2009-02-17T10:55:00.002+08:00

back from night cycling with an aching butt. other than that, the journey was a cooling one in this hot weather. raining before our trip out was so good it cool the entire area.
traveling through the same path at night and morn gives me a total new perception of the place. through the long endless road at changi airport, because you can't see the end, it feels so long. but during the day, when i can see the bend at then end, somehow, the journey didn't feel so long.
8 of us, pedaling and pedaling.
sweating and training muscles. haha.

grasping sand

2009-02-14T23:52:00.003+08:00

no matter how much you try to hold unto me
i'll slip out your hands
you can't grasp all of me
maybe a little
when the wind comes
with him i'll follow
and somewhere else i'll land
away from you
so let me go
but if you desire
you may sweep your hands through me
lie on me
i'll listen when you talk
embrace you as you sleep
but there i'll be once in a while
i won't be there forever

don't grasp me
grasp the one who created me

i am
the sand on the beach
the sand under the deep blue sea
the sand in your pot of plant
the sand in the wind
the sand under your feet

private resort!

2009-02-09T10:56:00.000+08:00

something to look forward to. awesome.

bitter taste of defeat

2009-02-06T18:14:00.002+08:00

its knowing we deserve more than this
that upsets me so much
its knowing we tried so hard
yet not reaping its fruit
that saddens me
its knowing we could do it
but never got the chance to prove it
that causes such ache
its being the captain and leading it to failure
that the bitter taste of defeat
can't get off my tongue
i know its only a game...
but still,
sigh.

i've placed my heart into this.

lost

2009-02-06T00:13:00.002+08:00

the bitter taste of defeat...
haiz
we lost. yesh. wildcatz lost.
after all the training and hope.
i can't say i'm not upset nor dissapointed. after all, i carried very high hopes.
maybe i have been too confident. sigh.

stranger than fiction

2009-02-02T10:01:00.002+08:00

stangely, 'Stanger Than Fiction' is alot more interesting than the cover looks. stangely, its alot better than the actor acting inside.
i like this show. do check it out if you can.
the plot has an amzing twist.

to the sister's hse!

2009-01-29T13:09:00.002+08:00

yesterday was visitation to the NC's house. nana rented a car and fetched me after work together with angelina and nicole. so off to dinosaur land we went (bukit panjang) and guess wad? we lost our way. haha. u-turns, wrong turn, back turn, you name it we've done it. 1 1/2hrs before we finally got to the place! vv cried so much...we've no idea why. zz was hyper like dunno wad. WATCH OUT! the whole time for he was dashing ard the house in his lil car.
then we headed to sister tan house which was so much better, we only made 2 wrong turn. haha. she prepared so much food like cooking for an entire army, prawns, nio hiang, steamboat, curry, chicken wings in huge portions. we ate till we became so sluggish...could hardly move anymore.

great new yr day. :)

CNY urgh

2009-01-26T22:19:00.003+08:00

happy chinese new year everyone!

first day of CNY and like always, its visitation to distant relatives whom i don't even think i can remember if i eve bump into them on the street. haha.
irritating relatives who ask qns just to make conversations....urgh. 'hv bf not?' etc etc. irritating.
i'm so gg to work morn nxt yr. haha

korea in HAJI lane

2009-01-23T23:11:00.002+08:00

pics from korea in HAJI lane with carynn! yeah!
that place is so full of creativity. like walking through shophouses of museum.

had the last training with Wildcatz today. fantastic season i say, fantastic. real awesome. 2 more weeks before the final showdown...
one day when i no longer am in the ward, in SGH, at least there are memories that i can look back and smile.

cont get togethers

2009-01-19T14:14:00.003+08:00

ANNOUNCMENT TO ALL W57 PEEPS!

new yr and i realise there really are gg to be some changes this yr...some of us are leaving the ward to study, for good, for transfer etc...
BUT!!! that is NOT gg to signify the ending of our wondrous friendship ok?
that is one of the reason i sign up for facebook cos i'm still gg to org events for us.

workin has been fantastic bcos of you...

i feel so condemn

2009-01-17T03:08:00.002+08:00

i did a mistake at work. felt so condemn. felt like shit.
when ya dealing with human lives...a mistake can mean so much.
it almost requires us to be perfect.
and sometimes, it feels as if all your previous hardwork can be wiped out in the single mistake done.
many a time, i wished there was more heart in this industry. that we learn to love and care for each other more rather than just pointing fingers and saving your own butt when a problem arises.
i hate to be the topic of central msg.

night again!

2009-01-16T12:16:00.001+08:00

i'm on night again!
haiz.

the moon

2009-01-13T00:24:00.003+08:00

walking home and i realise
the moon
how it has always been there
but i never really took a second look at it
how it hung on the sky without fail every single day
but i never appreciated that
how it's the only source of light at night shinning frm billion light yrs away
but i'm never amazed at that fact
so today
i stood at the bus stop
gazing...
smiling...
simply appreciating its presence.

cycling

2009-01-09T00:31:00.002+08:00

along the beach, sand, sun, sea
along the airport runway pass the big fir tress
against the wind blowing so mightily
we cycled on...
pass the planes
the pitched up tents
the bridges and roads
where the past flowed
and the heart softened under the heat of the sun
like butter out of the refrigerator
it begins to talk
again.

breaking the news

2009-01-04T20:55:00.002+08:00

i chose to break the news today slowly to grandma...
and told her abt my plans in 2 yrs time.
to go aust work and study.
though i put up a front...
her response broke my heart...i knew it broke hers too.
but my minds made up. i've to go.
my search for new life, a place to call my own.

God forgive me.

kite runner

2009-01-03T01:54:00.002+08:00

just finished another great movie. one of those which stirs me inside...
after so long of not wanting to watch it, i finally did.

money money money

2008-12-30T23:28:00.002+08:00

'you have not given us money this month hor?' 26/12/08
txt frm : dad. Just one day after payday when i haven even draw the money yet.

'are you suppose to give me $70 instead of $50? i wrote it down. you gave me $70 last month'
was the question frm my uncle the moment i stepped into the house.
when after he return frm his trip, he say not a single word. but when it comes to money, he is so concerned.

FREAK! i hate you pple so much. when its time to money, you can never be faster. i owe you, you say.
other parents give their kids money, you asked it from me like you hv no means to a living.
other parents offers to sponser their kids to overseas study, you say you will never.
other parents wanna see their kids happy, you seem to think only abt YOURSELF!

the moment i leave this place, only grandma will get money.

all the freaks should live together and get out of my life!

not running

2008-12-28T23:16:00.002+08:00

how to let you understand
i'm not running
but am searching for a new life?

how to let you know
i've had enough
and wants something new?

how to let you see
the cracks beneath the vase
that needs healing

netball practice

2008-12-27T16:19:00.002+08:00

went for another netball pactice yesterday and am left with fatigue all over today. haha.
full court game for 2 hours non-stop with 2 crazy monkey guys in the opp team. just a friendly thing, we din do very well but i expected it cos we are competing against GUYS! so its ok wildcatz, i really wanna encourage us, don't be dissapointed k?
we hv been alot better than when we first started out.

other than that, i had a great work-out!
i can't wait for theh following fir's practices to come...
we ROCK!

christmas musical

2008-12-26T23:10:00.002+08:00

christmas is finally ovver!
and i tot the musical was a blast. Thx God everything went smoothly...
to the teachers who so patiently collaborated the kids
to the producer who took so good care of me
to the director who has strict standards
to the lighting team for creating such fantastic atmosphere
to the clothes person who made such beautiful costumes
and many many more...

took a video as well but am hving trouble uploading it. sigh. i'm still triyng.

time to rest...

rest

2008-12-24T11:57:00.003+08:00

christmas props are finally almost done.
its been challenging and i enjoyed it.
this year's musical is good. its really very good. every time when i sit there watching the rehearsal, tears never fail to swell up in my eyes...i do hope whoever is reading this post to come tmr too. 230pm at harvest care centre.

last night, Daphne came over to stay. after the rehearsal and i was so tired but this woman wants to play nonetheless. faints. so we watch the TV (with her eating mac) from 12mn to 1230mn, which she then proceed to say it was boring. so i replied, gd, lets go sleep. haha. my eyes were so heavy by then. so we went in to room, lei on the bed and she started chatting. and then i heard, 'zzz' (not the sleeping zz but the flying kinda. so i tot it was her moving. and i just ignored and cont. listening to her talk. which she then said she wanted to play! IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT! and then, i hear it again! ZZZ. and i was so damn sure something was flying ard in the room. and i was praying so hard it was not the most disgusting insect in the whole entire insect kingdom, the cockroach!
i flipped on the swtich and there it was, huge as don't know wad crawling on my table! we both scream and ran out of the room at 1am. with my grandma sleeping and no bay gone ard, Daphne was the only one at the frontline. till we could handle no more, i reluctly woke up my blissfully asleep grandma to her irritation and nagging. with her in sight, i hid all the way to the kitchen, in safety i assume. and after 20 mins or so, she emerge victoriously with that thing in her hands.
and here comes the worst part, she was so freaking proud of it, she look at me and say,' there, i caught it' only to accidently let it go and see it flying st into my direction!
FREAK!!!! AHHHHHHHHH. even now that i think of it, i shudder. MOST DISGUSTING!

i wan new life

2008-12-20T23:33:00.002+08:00

dreams...
they have an interesting way of keeping one alive
down in the pit
only the hope of getting out alive
keeps one holding on

the flower with minimal sunshine and water
begins to wither
the kite with minimal string at its back
begins to fall
the one with minimal air to breathe
begins to suffocate

then its dreams came in
to live
the mind races for solutions
one after another
each weighing against the benefits of one another
till the best is found
it will not retaliate

the laws of nature breaks in
survival of the fittest
or die...

his will?

2008-12-19T10:53:00.003+08:00

on my way to work yesterday, once again i asked,' whats your will for me? where do i head 1 1/2 years from now? i don't wanna go around feeling like i'm not doing what i'm made to do. i wanna be fufilled.'

crossing the road, he asked,' you can work so hard at work. all these efforts and work, where do you want it to be in? in this world or my kingdom?'

and i asked myself, if this job offers no money, would i still hold on to it? i wanna work somewhere that even if one day, it offers no returns, i'd still joyfully get down to it.
is nursing one of it?

'Then Jesus said to his disciples, "I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven'Matthew 19:23

his will/

2008-12-19T10:53:00.000+08:00

my yums yums

2008-12-18T00:03:00.002+08:00

went to eat super nice food and chill out 2 days st!
i like....

yesterday was wen's belated bday celebration and we headed to ABSOLUE HAVEN which was really absolutely heavenly. the food was superb!
i love the strawberry slices they leave in the jar of water, it makes the water taste so nice.
we waited for an ave of 30 mins for every dish but i really think, its worth the wait. the chef makes the food from scratch. such standards...
- the lobster bique with scallops and very very fresh prawns.
- our main course which consist of pasta and a whole fish. (VVV NICE)
- tiramisu.
i'm salivating again.

then today was to HYATT HOTEL for dinner buffet with my dear colleagues.
sis tan and her son, ai na, sri, siti, arifa and me!
it was nice to chill it a nice environment like this...
but i think the food was not as fantastic as yesterday's though. hee
but anyway, we walked ard town after that, and here are the pics!

where shld i head after my bond ends?

terrible day to work

2008-12-15T22:25:00.002+08:00

today is a SUPERBLY HORRIBLE day to work!
URGH ARGH
A side got no missy to work!
crisis at central msg time.
no one coming back!
haiz....
sis proposed me to work 1-20. MAD!!!!!
in the end, siti ic central and i ic A side. I HATE A side. money rich idiots.
with one junior floating 1-20. siao.
thank god got PRCP student.
alison fainted. of all days. today.
one more day of rubbish like this and i'm gg take mc.

so angry with him...

2008-12-10T22:29:00.002+08:00

they crept up slowly
accumulate slowly
build up slowly
and by the time you know it
it may be too hard...
to get rid of it

christmas coming

2008-12-09T23:44:00.003+08:00

the carols are starting to play in the mall, decorations are rising up one by one, the all too familiar green fir tree with the bright star right at the top and of course, the hustle and bustle of getting the gifts for 25th.

christmas is indeed around the corner. the season of joy and giving.

the time of the year when santa comes with his reindeer...HO! HO! HO! when families comes together with log cakes and turkey to celebrate.

how's your preparations?

BUT WAIT.
what are we celebrating?
whats the ocassion?
where's the birthday boy?

give me sec...i think i see him now. yeap. i do. there he is...standing right there. can't you see him? right there.
outside the door...by the streets, pacing up and down. quick! get him. what are you waiting for? have you forgotten that our dear Jesus was born on christmas?

have you forgotten the only reason he came?
For you and me he came. because of the great love for us he came. to give us the greatest gift of all. the gift of life. where once and for all, the sacrificial of lambs was abolished because he himself, sinless and pure took up our sins and paid the price for it.

As simple as that, this lamb is presenting to us the greatest gift of all. the gift of life.
have you taken your gift? or is it still lying there outside your door?
it doesn't matter if you're chinese or indian, tall or short, fat or skinny. he knows you all the same...
'For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb' Psalm 139:13
so go on...take that step and open your door. he is waiting. just for you.

don't forget him this christmas...take some time off...spend it with him.

and yet another death

2008-12-08T05:11:00.002+08:00

and yes...my instincts were right. 3 deaths in a row of 3 nights!
unbelieveable.
till pushing the e trolley doesn't even scare me anymore. at least for now, i feel more experienced. haha

collaspe again!

2008-12-06T23:54:00.002+08:00

pt collaspe during my night again!
and its 2 nights in a row. 2 rounds of nights ina row!
whats for tmr?

my nights are full of 'surprises'.

costa sands sentosa w57

2008-11-29T13:37:00.002+08:00

back from w57 chalet!
small rooms, many people, homey, kampong style.
near the sun sand and sea!
another meomorable time spend together with this nurses.

i hope mommy and vivi had a gd time.
its interesting to see how people are diff when you are staying together.
the pool nights are hilarious. i love our money stretching playing style.
w57, you ROCK!

chalet!

2008-11-27T11:35:00.003+08:00

today is W57 1st day of chalet! and woohoo. i can't wait.
think its gg to be super fun.
poor sis tan is sick though, so we won't be expecting her today. i pray she gets well tmr so she can at least come for the BBQ.

won't be able to go for adualts camp next wk. my off aren't approved. its too tight in the workplace. sigh. but oh well. looking on the brighter side of things, i can concentrate on my christmas rally prop making and hey, hv dinner at HYATT! yeah!

GOD finally gave me a chance to servein the body. props in-charge. i seriously like the challenge of searching and racking my brains thw whole time thinking of where and how to create the props. but one of the most amazing things was, i realise its a fantastic avenue to invite friends for the event! his ways are always higher than ours. :)

i've decided

2008-11-23T23:52:00.001+08:00

don't be a spectator
don't be a bystander
step out
be a part of it

making the choice to live for him liberated me.

i'm back from cambodia

2008-11-21T23:37:00.002+08:00

i'm finally BACK from cambodia. and i miss singapore sooooooo much! i miss our clean and green city(cliche as it might sound), our housefly free country, smooth and flat roads, and everything else.

5 experience enriching days.
1st day: its a FREAKING buddha day! all the buddhas in the world, wooden, marble, stone. whatever. i've seen it all. borken hands, feets, lost heads. URGH! yucks. i hate this statues so much.
1st night: we encounter a break-in into my 2nd storey hotel room, my parents room to be exact and we lost USD$2k + Hp. woke up to find the curtains flying, an open window and a broken window bolt.
BLESSING: passports, credit cards and us were save.
2nd day: interaction with the local police for the report that we needed in order to claim insurance. and i realise how much i love singapore once again. w/o cash, we were told that in order for them to help us, we'll need to help em too. with cash USD$100. bribery. in broad day lights. from a negotiation of investigation of 3 days, it took merely 2 hrs for the report to churn out. to be honest, i din wan this report. i'd rather walk uprighteously. parents din think this way. as they say, when yr in rome, do what the romans do.
3rd day: from phome phen to siem reap was a suppose 6 hr coach ride. arriving at the coach company early in the morning, we were inform that the coach did not hv services for 3 days. haa. what a 'pleasant' surprise. what to do? we are in cambodia. w/o computers, this is what happens. faints'
BLESSING: though last min, we manage to find another company to send us there. ( 6 hrs and the whole time, the coach's TV was blasting with cambodia MTV and local variety show) thx god i had my noise-blocking earphones.
4th day: to the famour angkor wat. actually, we visited so many temples i seriously think all i'm looking at is just stones. in diff places.

i see the living conditions of the people, the muddy roads, a darken city at night w/o street lights, market places that looks so make shift, the children...my heart just went out to them. for a mere 5 days, i felt like i've step into a refuge campsite. i asked myself, could i ever stay here after living in such comfortable conditions back home? i tried picturing myself in the broken down houses, aluminium tinned roofs, dusty floors, housefly infested areas, and i really found it hard to say yes.

as a christian, i'm posing this qn to all christians out there. if we say that everyone is our brother and sister and we're all a family, how could we sit here in our comfort zone knowing that they are suffering somewhere else in another part of this world?

one day however, i asked myself, perhaps in truth, they're happier than us. ? don't we sometimes just miss the simplicity of life?

so much thoughts, so much raw feelings, so much to type.

i use to hv a dream not to long ago, i wanted to set up a sch and teach the poor little children. spread to them the love of christ, give them a basic education. show some hope of a better future. gg to cambodia brought all that out again. in a gush... all these came rushing back. as if i could just drop everything i hv now, to do it. i'll pray though...i just need ot muster a lil more courage to step out of this comfort zone.

GOD my father has indeed bless and protected me in this darken country.

wildcatz underground

2008-11-15T10:41:00.002+08:00

wildcatz underground is comin out! woohoo!
went to make our team jersey yesterday with the bunch of cats. i love the team spirit. i love being in a team!
preparing hard for the competition in Jan. we wanna be better than last yr. duh.
as we were leaving though, something scary happen. Hidayah who was alone in the toilet met with a freaking pervert in the toilet who went into the ladies (while she was bathing) and did some gruesome things to himself in front of her. luckily for him, he ran away but we could catch him.

my dear lady friends out there, never go anywhere ALONE ok? things can happen in a min.

daphne's bday surprise

2008-11-12T23:33:00.002+08:00

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gave dear daphy sis a bday surprise today!
amazingly by god's grace, though things did not go according to the way i had initially intended it to be, it turn out great too. indeed, his ways are higher than man's.

ps: dear sis, i hope you enjoyed yourself today. though it was just a simple outing, i pray its the beginning of a new season for you. look at the memories you pasted... its possible! we're with ya. :)

wish theres more

2008-11-09T23:26:00.002+08:00

- tmr i'll be a preceptor for the first time. being a mentor le.
- i got into HD for 2 consecutive days, felt like home. i like seeing my patients all the time.
- while at work i'm seeing myself walking slowly towards my likes, at church, i seem stuck. sigh. i wish i could be more than where i am right now. i guess work took alot away.
- i wish i had a disciple too. to watch her grow in christ. yet at the same time, afraid to teach the wrong things. wish to be in the youth...wish to play drums for God...URgh. i can't get them done!
- trying to hang on to them but somehow, when the other side is more encouraging, you just get more encouraged to carry on.

really wanna do more. feels so powerless...i've been waiting.

night safari

2008-11-05T23:59:00.004+08:00

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out to night safari today! after like a dacade long of not stepping into that place. it was refreshing. a really blessed day with the fantastic weather. super nice and cooling. i like the way night safari tries to educate its visitors with the conservation and all...
abt 15 of us( plus the kids) took the tram ard the whole safari. sister lee was so happy. i saw her smiling the whole time. made me so glad :) then left the 9 adventurous souls who decided to walk the trail. i love the bats. upclose and personal.
i hope you guys enjoy yourselves, cos i did.
rest well.

pt collapse!

2008-11-03T01:54:00.002+08:00

yesterday night was superbly tiring but exciting.
had a pt who collapse at 0130. can you imagine seeing the moment the patient stop breathing? and i only nurse her for a day.
the doctors came, other staff nurses came to help, cpr was started and my very first intubation!
cpmapre with my other batch girls, i've had the most death + resuscitation cases. while you can say i'm a very unlcuky person you can also say GOD has planted many learning opportunities for me! i prefer to see the latter.

1st night

2008-11-01T02:40:00.002+08:00

blogging now at 2 am in the wee hours of the morn cos i'm getting sleepy. my eyes are narrowing every single min. (typo errors pls excuse me). 2 more nights to go. in-charge yet again. feels as if i'm doing part junior work as well. sometimes i really think 'ah tiong' are so freaking lazy. so many things to do and they'll still sit in front of the stupid com doing i-ve-no-idea WAD!urgh. no kakis today to chat with me. go cheers with me. sigh. only dadddy left.
watched adam's apple yesterday which was a foreign file. which like most foreign films, they are apced quite alowly. still i enjoyed the whole show. to a dying old man who used to be in the concentration camp, the reverend sat beside him during his last hours while he was sobbing in his bed saying, ' how can i be forgiven? so many i've killed. so many.'
how would you hv replied to that? i'll most prob be silent. but this guy told him gently, 'alls forgoten. alls forgotten'. and the old man left.

aslan's word

2008-10-26T23:48:00.002+08:00

once again, i trembled. like a child, i instinctually hide from the things that burnt me once.
but i had indeed moved. no longer does it affect me as much as it use to.

i've seen daddy's protection and blessing upon me. to open doors so graciously.
thank you lord. i still want to live your will.

i was reading Narnia and the chronicles, one passage struck me deep.
~ then, after an awful pause, the deep voice said,' Susan.' Susan made no answer but the others thought she was crying. " you have listened to fears, child," said Aslan. " Come, let me breathe on you. Forget them. Are you brave again?"

singapore biennale

2008-10-22T08:51:00.001+08:00

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i finally got my butt to singapore biennale! yeah! lotsa and lotsa photo taking.
an arty farty afternoon with a nice sister, praise god!

so many plans

2008-10-18T23:08:00.002+08:00

so many plans...
so so many.

i'm gg organise so many outings. haha. i think i'm getting hooked. its so nice to get pple together...

i just had my netball training started again yesterday and boy, it was real good. we scream like pri sch kids. but you know wad? who cares? haha. we are enjoying ourselves and thats all that matters.

whats more to come? tons.

looking at my schedule, i think i'll need to get myself an organiser real soon.

to the night safari, to cambodia, to sentosa chalet, to adults camp, netball trainings, drum trainings...

woohoo.

get out of the box

2008-10-13T10:37:00.004+08:00

yesterday's sermon was good. though i was sleepy, i din even yawn once.
all in all, i remembered
the speaker,
the box and
this words,' is what you are living worth dying for?'
and bamm! i'm once again reminded of all my dreams and desires.

why should we be living a mediocre life when we can expect and do more?
why isit when we are young, we dare to dream but as we get older, the influences of the world becomes our dream?
i never believe life was all about studying, gettting a job, meet prince charm, get married, give birth, take care children and then grandchildren and retire. die.

life is more than that. if we dare to give. we will receive.

so what if i dun hv a prada, a louis viutton hanging on my shoulder. i won't die for them.
what i'll die for, is living for christ.

out with aud!

2008-10-06T23:24:00.002+08:00

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Get your own

out with my dear aud today! like finally. how long hv we procrastinated.
we ate, talk, walked , shopped.

how i'm so sure if the r/s has a gd base, time can't take it away.

time

2008-10-03T00:15:00.004+08:00

the value of time
can show how much a person care
since time is priceless and cannot be bought
its worth so much more than presents
the time you take
to spend with me
to think of me
to walk with me
to laugh with me
to company me
to listen to me
how can i ever take them for granted.

thank you if you ever gave me a portion of yr time.
thats priceless.

ungrates

2008-09-30T19:08:00.002+08:00

stupid ungrateful bratz.
idiots...URGH.
patient relatives who make a big hooha out of nothing.
when you try your best for them but in the end, get nothin but shit up yr pants. thx man!

IODIOTS.

high tea!

2008-09-25T22:16:00.005+08:00

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the last and final celebration with my decade-long buddies. we went high tea like some tai-tais at goodwood park hotel.

a nice lazy afternoon.

awesome.

conclusion:
ambience- *****
service-****
food-***

love in action

2008-09-20T17:03:00.002+08:00

"the fruits of love are but love in action
Joy is love exalted and excited
Peace is love at rest
Long suffering is love enduring
Gentleness is love expressed in the company of others
Self control is love in training
Goodness is love in action
Faith is love hard at work"

4th bash

2008-09-18T21:02:00.003+08:00

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went to the beach on my actual birthday itself, with carynn. others were unfortunately all working...nonetheless, i enjoyed the day itself. the sun, the beach, the sea, the wind, the sense of freedom and silence too. every spot along ecp brings back some memories...thank you pal for being in one of it.

snap snap snap picturetaking we went. with the digicam, with my holga. i love taking pics.

yeap. i wanna stay happy.

my 3rd bash at minds!

2008-09-17T11:44:00.002+08:00

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celebrated my birthday yesterday with my colleagues cum buds yesterday. it was so so fun! such a long time when all i did was just luff and luff and scream from the games till tears came out. till my abdo muscles hurt. not forgetting gettting 'takan' so many times...haha. i got my special drink, ok la. forgive you guys for that. the cake waws awesome too. cute. (to: ash and dawn. muackz!)
it was so tiring but AWESOME! thx buds. here are the pics. devour!

i love my 21st...to all the people who came and make all this possible. i thx God for you.

2nd bash and counting

2008-09-14T22:11:00.003+08:00

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with the family at auntie's house
we had batok jones catered
i love my cake
it's from Jane's cake shop
most of all
you were there too

learning to be joyful in the lil things

my 21st started off with a bang!

2008-09-14T15:09:00.006+08:00

thank God for the little details...did we take them all for granted?
thx you for
-the perfect weather
-the best company one can ask for
-great great food
-fantastic chicker'poker'
-superb bbq-ers!
-bros who started the great fire
-for simply being there
and that everything went on fine bcos of you.

it starts tmr!

2008-09-12T20:44:00.001+08:00

celebration starts tmr! haha.
i wanna be happy.
daddy, be with me. good weather pretty pls....
yeah!

unexpectations

2008-09-08T20:52:00.001+08:00

nope. i won't be gg in the end.
but its ok.

counting down...afew more days.
i pray it'll turn out nice.

my mission trip

2008-09-01T10:21:00.008+08:00

the map of philippines!

there i soon will be. Nov 15-22. one of my dreams- soon to be fulfill.

a flight to baguio (part of luzon) and then and int transfer to iloilo's antique.

i heard trekking mountains is part of it. hmm. i hope i'm fit enough.

blading in gorgeous weather!

2008-08-21T10:36:00.003+08:00

liars den

2008-08-12T23:16:00.002+08:00

my world is so full of liars i say
grown ups lie so much...
promises seems to be a thing of the past
sick of each and everyone of your promises
of the false hope you give
only to bring the dissapointment to a deeper level
SHUT UP!

what on earth am i here for?

2008-08-10T23:52:00.002+08:00

think i've reached another stage in life: " where to head now?"
crossroads and options lies ahead. a choice is to be made.
no. i can't accept stagnatation.
no movement=death
whether it's my working, spiritual or personal life.
i look into the future and i know its bright. i know i'm made for greatness.
i won't flow with the river...just bcos the whole world seems to be flowing that direction doesn't mean i hv to be the same. i believe life has more to that.

one yr into nursing, i think i hv enough of where i'm now at. abt 2 more yrs before my bond ends. now wad?

seeking and asking the one who made me, when you made me. what did you planned me for?

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb." Psalm 139:13

my new blog!

2008-08-09T22:29:00.001+08:00

my new new blog! hows it?
pics will come soon... heehee

.

2008-08-02T10:01:00.001+08:00

creating